this week had my first coursework where totally did bad for econ and account (need to work hard!!). also had my first test for swimming, dunno if i passed or not. i was test by the cute tutor. when it was my turn, i'm blurred! blur not because of him is that i forgotten what i had learnt during class =p. now i am even more tan (need to apply whitening lotion!!). my swimming class will end soon. still left 3 more weeks. cannot see the cute tutor anymore >_<. actually, my sister and i wanna go to watch harry porter but couldn't booked ticket in the phone and also online because telephone line is busy and it was full. suprisingly, my sister's friends went to the cinema to try their luck and they got the tickets also said they were many empty seats (aargh, what the heck?!) next week must go to watch and shopping too!

my first car accident!

yesterday after college going back home using the road to tmn melati lrt station. that time there were lot of cars. going down the hill, not careful, hit behind a van. front bumper of my car was damaged but the van was ok. the driver was so nice. i suggested to report to police but he said it's ok. i just feel sorry for my parents need to spend lot of money to repair it n the next time need to drive more slowly n carefully!

it's a dream or reality?

thinking back still blur... what's actually happened today? though its not serious n i was just thinking too much. though its only happen in love dramas but all of sudden he called me up n brought up the issue again! i gave the same reasons again. i really don't have that kind of feeling n interest. why it feel suffer to reject a guy?! am i that worth for him to like me so much?! is this a mistake or fate? i happy about it and at the same time feel guilty about it. i just don't get it! oh god, i'm going crazy! i like the way i am, the life i living n the things i do now. i know things will not go the way i want. i was just acting strong in front of everyone.

seventh heaven

feeling lost! lost!!! couldn't cope with economics, law and account. also, have no time to study feeling tired after college n i don't know why on earth i will automatic wake up at 5am no matter i slept late n after that, i can't sleep back. at college can't pay attention. i do exercise. i do yoga once a week. urm... maybe depression is coming back. i am a very quite person. don't know why what atittdude suddenly changed when i entered teen. i used to be very talkative as a child. now, my new friends always say i'm very quite person. i'm just so jealous to see them happily talking n sharing stories n i enjoying listen to their stories or sharing laughter. i just don't know why i hardly open my mouthwhen with friends not strangers!!! what is wrong with me?. since, i'm a quite person, i tend to swallow up the problems myself. i hardly will tell anyone. i know this is bad toward myself. if i hardly open up, i'll going to be suffering from stress, tend to isolate myself, can't pay attention to study n maybe diseases. i have even think that did i made the right choice of studying business management? i HATE to think about this as i HATE the feeling of REGRET!! I HATE REGRET SO MUCH!!! anyway, now i keep telling myself "i still in the starting point. everything need time to see the result. don't give up easily as i haven't try the very best of me yet. i'll soon experience new, interesting, fun, valuable life or even the life i always dream of! there are many people who face the same problem as me or even worse. i must face the challenges because it is 'life'. seek professional help if desperate. speak to counselors or miss pauline"